turning twenty.

The end of October always means one thing - I'm about to turn one year older. In the past, this has always been an exciting thing. Turning 15 meant a driver's permit. turning 16 meant a driver's license, and the keys to the old hot tamale. turning 17 meant...another year older (and closer to 21!). and so it continues.

The other day, a friend who is in her late twenties asked me if I was sad to be turning 20, and suddenly not being a teenager anymore. That struck me as an interesting question. Should I be sad to be turning 20? Should all fun and happiness be over since I'm not 19 anymore? That is certainly a common belief...but is it true?

If I was to write a letter to myself the summer before my freshman year of high school, here are a list of things I would say.

1) Don't care so much about what other people think of you. I know its hard to believe that at 14 years old, when all that matters is the latest pair of american eagle jeans...and that brand new cell phone you just spent your allowance on. But seriously - the people you hang out with now won't remember your name in 5 years, so who cares what they think?

2) A friend who gossips to you, will gossip ABOUT you. don't trust people so easily - be more discerning.

3) always tell the truth to your best friend. a best friend is someone who knows everything about you...and loves you anyways. a best friend is someone who encourages you spiritually, who shares in your laughter, and who is there through your tears. 

4) don't think so much about boys!! They don't matter. The Lord will bring the right man in your life, and you literally have NO control over it. God can give emotions, take away emotions, provide desirable circumstances, and take them away. Of all the things i've learned through my relationship with Ross, one thing stands out to me the most - I have absolutely no control over our future. Only God does. He controls the course of our lives, and I MUST surrender to Him. God is a jealous God, He will destroy the idols of your heart. Don't let that person become an idol.

 5) Don't stress. Don't worry. Focus on the Lord. Whatever is so horrible right now - well, it won't be horrible at all later. Life is easy, you have no responsibility or cares. enjoy it.

6) Keep a journal. seriously, your memory will fade faster than you can imagine, but a journal lasts a long time.

7) Appearances change. Don't put so much value in your looks. Fashions change - so quickly! So many truly beautiful women are SO insecure. God made you perfectly. Celebrate His perfect design in the way you dress, the way you carry yourself, and the way you interact with others. Model inward beauty.

8) Never underestimate the power of forgiveness. Hatred and bitterness eat away at your soul - God forgave you when you were the dirtiest of all sinners. Beg Him to enable you to do the same. Don't allow past grudges to control present relationships. Always give others the benefit of the doubt!

9) Be gracious in relationships."Here are few simple ways to wreck a relationship: listen to gossip, be controlling, be easily offended. Being controlling is a sure way to have people flee from you. Being easily offended is a sure way of living life in misery and ensuring those around you feel miserable too."

10) Don't look forward to the future too much - enjoy each and every passing day. I still struggle with this daily. When things get rough, it's tempting to look ahead to "Well, things will be better when..." Wrong. They won't. Contentment begins in the heart, and it can only be cultivated through a cheerful attitude in all aspects of life.

11) the past 10 things i've listed mean nothing without a personal relationship with your Savior. He is the only One who can enable you to survive this crazy life, and the only One who can make you a better person because of it. surrender - what a daunting word. beg Him to take control. Never get to the point in your life where you feel like you've become the woman you wanted to be. Always be asking Christ to shape you, to change you, and to make you more like Himself. 

living the perfect life isn't of eternal value. Having the best car, the best hair, the coolest friend, the perfect family, the most desired body, the best athletic ability, the most fun personality, the best college education, and the most money won't mean a thing when you get to heaven. Remember that, believe it, and live that belief every day. 


The bride eyes not her garment,
But her dear Bridegroom’s face;
I will not gaze at glory
But on my King of grace.
Not at the crown He giveth
But on His pierced hand;
The Lamb is all the glory
Of Emmanuel’s land.