turning twenty.

The end of October always means one thing - I'm about to turn one year older. In the past, this has always been an exciting thing. Turning 15 meant a driver's permit. turning 16 meant a driver's license, and the keys to the old hot tamale. turning 17 meant...another year older (and closer to 21!). and so it continues.

The other day, a friend who is in her late twenties asked me if I was sad to be turning 20, and suddenly not being a teenager anymore. That struck me as an interesting question. Should I be sad to be turning 20? Should all fun and happiness be over since I'm not 19 anymore? That is certainly a common belief...but is it true?

If I was to write a letter to myself the summer before my freshman year of high school, here are a list of things I would say.

1) Don't care so much about what other people think of you. I know its hard to believe that at 14 years old, when all that matters is the latest pair of american eagle jeans...and that brand new cell phone you just spent your allowance on. But seriously - the people you hang out with now won't remember your name in 5 years, so who cares what they think?

2) A friend who gossips to you, will gossip ABOUT you. don't trust people so easily - be more discerning.

3) always tell the truth to your best friend. a best friend is someone who knows everything about you...and loves you anyways. a best friend is someone who encourages you spiritually, who shares in your laughter, and who is there through your tears. 

4) don't think so much about boys!! They don't matter. The Lord will bring the right man in your life, and you literally have NO control over it. God can give emotions, take away emotions, provide desirable circumstances, and take them away. Of all the things i've learned through my relationship with Ross, one thing stands out to me the most - I have absolutely no control over our future. Only God does. He controls the course of our lives, and I MUST surrender to Him. God is a jealous God, He will destroy the idols of your heart. Don't let that person become an idol.

 5) Don't stress. Don't worry. Focus on the Lord. Whatever is so horrible right now - well, it won't be horrible at all later. Life is easy, you have no responsibility or cares. enjoy it.

6) Keep a journal. seriously, your memory will fade faster than you can imagine, but a journal lasts a long time.

7) Appearances change. Don't put so much value in your looks. Fashions change - so quickly! So many truly beautiful women are SO insecure. God made you perfectly. Celebrate His perfect design in the way you dress, the way you carry yourself, and the way you interact with others. Model inward beauty.

8) Never underestimate the power of forgiveness. Hatred and bitterness eat away at your soul - God forgave you when you were the dirtiest of all sinners. Beg Him to enable you to do the same. Don't allow past grudges to control present relationships. Always give others the benefit of the doubt!

9) Be gracious in relationships."Here are few simple ways to wreck a relationship: listen to gossip, be controlling, be easily offended. Being controlling is a sure way to have people flee from you. Being easily offended is a sure way of living life in misery and ensuring those around you feel miserable too."

10) Don't look forward to the future too much - enjoy each and every passing day. I still struggle with this daily. When things get rough, it's tempting to look ahead to "Well, things will be better when..." Wrong. They won't. Contentment begins in the heart, and it can only be cultivated through a cheerful attitude in all aspects of life.

11) the past 10 things i've listed mean nothing without a personal relationship with your Savior. He is the only One who can enable you to survive this crazy life, and the only One who can make you a better person because of it. surrender - what a daunting word. beg Him to take control. Never get to the point in your life where you feel like you've become the woman you wanted to be. Always be asking Christ to shape you, to change you, and to make you more like Himself. 

living the perfect life isn't of eternal value. Having the best car, the best hair, the coolest friend, the perfect family, the most desired body, the best athletic ability, the most fun personality, the best college education, and the most money won't mean a thing when you get to heaven. Remember that, believe it, and live that belief every day. 


The bride eyes not her garment,
But her dear Bridegroom’s face;
I will not gaze at glory
But on my King of grace.
Not at the crown He giveth
But on His pierced hand;
The Lamb is all the glory
Of Emmanuel’s land.

 

"We are halfhearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." - C.S. Lewis

take me to the fair

It's that time of year again...crisp autumn air, beautiful oranges and browns and golds, football season (roll tide), approaching holidays, and the thrill of settling into a routine. "is this the beginning of a hallmark card?" some of you might be wondering....and the answer is, no.

  this is simply my first authentic attempt to blog about a very real and present danger that is threatening society today. most Americans think about the season of autumn in terms of Charlie Brown and the Great Pumpkin, or cheering their favorite football team on to victory. To me, it is a season of obsession with one of the most dangerous and highly addictive past-times of the American public - the county fair.

Is my perspective a bit dramatic? We shall see.

Take a close look at this photograph of spinning colors and flashing lights. You can almost hear the carnival music in the background, playing the never ending tune of "The Ants are Marching One by One". Can you smell the funnel cakes and boiled peanuts? Can you imagine the children laughing and screaming in delight as they ride the ferris wheel, and win that stuffed toy they begged their daddy for? I like to envision the opening scene of "The Notebook", where Noah jumps on the ferris wheel and hangs on the top just to get Ally to agree to go on a date with him.

Excuse me, but if this isn't the hollywood version of a county fair, then i don't know what is. The days of Charlotte's Web are long gone, and a typical county fair today takes on a completely different face.

Upon arriving at the fair, you are herded into a parking lot, aka - an old pasture, by a huge escort of police cars with flashing lights. After hiding every valuable posession in the glove compartment of your car, you exit while gripping your child's hand with every ounce of nervous anticipation possible. You strictly tell them not to get lost in the crowd, don't talk to strangers, and for heaven's sake...leave your blanket in the car! You shell out $20 at the front gate for admission, and as soon as you get in you shell out another $40 for a roll of tickets to use at all the rides. Then you realize that you haven't eaten dinner yet. The kids are too awe-struck by all the shady characters flocking around you that they don't even realize you are about a mile ahead of them on a hunt for some type of affordable dinner option. oh wait - funnel cakes cost $5. Well, popcorn it is then. just drink water from the bathroom faucet, i'm not paying $4 for a Dasani water bottle!
After dinner is under control, the kids begin begging to ride the contraptions all around you. As you observe the unsavory character that is operating the Carousel, you wonder how loopy he is at this moment. and what he was smoking when he unloaded the carousel off the truck and tightened all those bolts as he went over his "safety checklist." yikes. So you move on. You settle yourself in the spinning "Himalayas", and then you realize that your seat belt is broken. And there is vomit on the floorboard. you switch to a different seat, and then scream your head off as your insides get bounced around in a most atrocious manner. The higschool drop-out attendent who ushers you out the gate has probably spent their life's savings on tatoos and has pierced every piercable surface on their body....and then some.

After a long night of blowing $100 on rides, foods, and various games, you gather up your crowd and start trekking out to the car. On the way out, a fight begins between gang members, and people start screaming and running every direction. Where are the cops? Who knows. Oh look, a flying trashcan. Let's get out of here.

All in all, it was a successful night at the fair. As you lay your weary head down to rest, a pounding headache begins to emerge from somewhere deep inside your shaken and sadly mistreated brain. All of that cost and misery for one night at the fair. and i'll bet a bag of boiled peanuts that you will find yourself in the same place again next year....wondering what on earth has gotten into your head again.