merry merry merry

I guess this post should be about Christmas. i should probably write my own creative and inspiring version of the nativity story, while sipping hot cider and listening to Amy Grant Christmas CD's.

...the truth of the matter is that Christmas was over yesterday, i feel fat and bloated from the absurd amounts of sugar i consumed, my hair is sticking up on end from static electricity, and i can hardly hear myself think because of the blaring sounds of Lord Of The Rings coming from the living room. I've played 4 rounds of monopoly in the past 24 hours and if i hear one more person say, "You owe me $7 million" i will scream and pitch a fit.

Did I mention we've been trying to go see a movie for the past 3 days, but something has come up every single time? Right now there is a good 3 inches of snow covering the entire city of atlanta. Bing Crosby didn't know what he was asking for when he sang "White Christmas". Every time you step outside you get cold and wet to the bone. Besides, no one in this entire state knows how to function in snowy weather, much less drive to the movie theater.

I guess i'll sit here soaking self pity and static electricity until the sun comes out on wednesday.

Love this photo - pure joy at being 11 years old without a care in the world.

he gets way too much attention for his own good...

When sitting at the dinner table, Dad was telling a story and he used the expression "left high and dry". After explaining what this means to Bryant, the little guy thought for a second and then said..."why wouldn't you say 'low and wet' instead?" :)


in other news...Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

tribute to the red hot tomale

Recently I've been blogging about what is on my mind and heart recently. therefore, I am going to keep up the tradition and write about what is on my mind and my heart today. It is sitting in the driveway. It is red, has a white strawberry-looking design on the side, and bounces like a trampoline every time it hits a bump in the road. No, i'm not talking about a wheelbarrel. I'm talking about the automobile that has been my number one means of transportation for FOUR long years.

Dodge Caravan, 1997. Now before you begin to laugh at me for being a teenager driving a mini van, let me show you a glimpse of it in its days of glory.

Don't be fooled by such a new and shining car- this red beauty doesn't have air conditioning in the back seat. But you wouldn't believe the system in this automobile....it survived 2 teenage drivers and it can still blast a beat with the bass turned up like a brand new sports car. A miracle, if you ask me.

Nevermind the fact that it has a leak under the front windshield, and a whole ocean of water is stored behind the glove compartment every time it rains. Oh and did i mention that the roof is caving in, and there is so much moisture in the car that duct tape won't hold it up? It has new tires though - thats a plus. It also has bucket seats that I vividly remember fighting over with my siblings in younger days.

This car got the name hot tomale my junior year of highschool. Who wouldn't name a fiery red mini van that barrels around recklessly "hot tomale"? Fits perfectly if you ask me.

It has seen many days of glory. Countless teenagers have come and gone. Many trips to the movies, mall, football games, and even prom. Yes - prom. Tabby took it to prom her junior year of highschool. Here is photographic evidence.

I wrecked it into the side of the garage my senior year and it has a scratch on the side that resembles the shape of a strawberry...or a fish...or whatever illusion you might conjur up. The front passenger air vents blow out a form of smoke every time the air conditioner is on, and we like to tell frightened newcomers that it is the hot tomale poison.

Sadly, this tried and true piece of equipment is on its last tire. After a recent rainstorm, the leak has taken over the whole car. There is fog on all the windows....on the inside. Just like a small bathroom gets foggy after a hot shower. From a scientific perspective, this means that mold has consumed the interior of the car.

Now, the Hot Tomale has a new name : Rotten Tomale. It is nothing more than a piece of fungus growing on the driveway. It still drives normally, but it is a health hazard to all who come within a 100 yard radius. Fortunately, a new car is on the horizon. But unfortunately, the Hot Tomale is about to kick the bucket.

The lessons this car taught me will never be forgotten. I have learned that when you pull up at a redlight and look over to see a hot shot in a lifted Chevy, it doesnt matter the look on his face or what he thinks of you. Because guess what? My Father in heaven doesn't care what im driving. In fact, i could be driving a 2011 Porsche and it wouldn't make a difference to Him.

a nice car isn't of eternal value.

R.I.P. Hot Tomale.

south of the Mason-Dixon line

 If a trip to a sporting event south of the Mason-Dixon line doesn't launch you into a philosophical explanation of human nature, then I don't know what will. While the majority of the United States take place in typical autumn Saturday activities such as watching cartoons, raking leaves, and eating hot chocolate....the Southern United States are overcome by a greed and competition fest that is unmatched by any other in the history of mankind. But before I explain myself, you must grasp a geographical explanation of the area I am speaking of.

To begin with, the season of fall in the South is more like a continuation of summer. That is, the thermostat doesn't even approach the 50's until mid-October. As Southern people check their weekend forecast as they prepare for a football game, they will often see that it is snowing in Pittsburgh. (Bless their hearts) But I am getting side-tracked...

Popular sports in the South consist of football, football, and football. Maybe baseball when football season ends. But not always. Most true fans are already looking at recruitment and summer practices as soon as the National Championship ends in January.

A typical college campus in the fall is decked out in school colors, crowds of rabid fans, and trash talking like you wouldn't believe. Often the baseball and soccer field parking lots are completely over run by an army of campers proudly bearing the college logo. Fans set up tents, bring out their grills, and then proceed to sit around drinking beer and talking about their team in terms that an outsider would think they were referring to either a dearly loved child, or an annoying in-law. In other words, true fans are obnoxiously proud of their team, but also have the ability to cut their team down in a most appalling manner.

My earliest memories are of the University of Alabama fight song being posted on our refrigerator and being forced to learn every word. I also remember asking for an Alabama cheerleading outfit every Christmas until approximately the ripe old age of 12. I remember going to games as a child, decked out with an Alabama shirt, sweatshirt, face paint, crimson and white ribbons in my hair, pom poms in my hand, and pom poms sticking out of every possible place on my person. I remember trotting along as fast as possible while my grandfather barreled toward the stadium, carrying his seat cushions and his radio headpiece. I most distinctly remember crying after losing to LSU in over time after a previously undefeated season.

Wait a second - crying? Yes. Crying. My grandfather always goes outside to do yard work when Bama is losing...we always joke about it, but crying and doing yardwork could possibly be the sign of heart issue.

Wait just another second - a heart issue? Relax a little, we are talking about college football here. Exactly! College football, where a rabid fan will blow $1500 for one ticket to a game. College football, where friendships and relationships will be put under pressure and sometimes even hurt because of the competitive nature. College football, where coaches will lie, cheat, and steal to get the player they desire. College football, where even the FBI will get called in to investigate cases of foul play. College football, where people will storm the field, burn monuments, and foster bitterness and anger in their hearts when their team loses.

My dad always quotes Matthew by saying "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also". I may not have a lot of money and earthly riches, but i surely do treasure the athletic program at the University of Alabama. there is a fine line between enjoying something, and idolizing it. And that is my challenge to all football fans of the world - put your treasure in heaven, not on the 50 yard line.

its november and its 90 degrees